The weather outside is dull, grey and rainy. If my mood could have a physical embodiment, that would be it. What has put me in this upbeat mood I hear you ask. Well that would be a late night ticking off from the husband. The worst thing about it, is that it was totally justified, not that knowing that makes me feel any less crap.
So after a day of getting very little done, I knew that I would struggle to have much to tell my husband when he got home from work. As per usual I tried to pad out and embellish what I had actually achieved and when that didn’t work I tried to distract him. I asked him about his day, suggested we go for a walk, ask him what he fancied for dinner. All the classic diversion topics were used.
Well today they didn’t work and that’s why, as we were getting ready for bed he confronted me about it. Confronted is probably too strong a word, he was just looking for an honest account of what I’d actually achieved today and wondered where my writing was really heading. Both completely fair questions.
I think the reason I’m now feeling so low, is that he was fair and not accusatory. Maybe if he had shouted at me or got angry I could have shouted back, but instead I sat and listened, growing more mortified by the minute that what he was saying was true. I’m not getting enough done, I’ve stopped applying for freelance writing jobs, my novel doesn’t appear to be getting anywhere. Yes, I have finally got my website up and running but he questioned whether I could be getting more blog posts written than one every couple of days. The answer is a resounding yes.
He told me that I needed to set goals for myself. Real, tangible goals that would yield actual results that I could point to as progress with my writing. Again he isn’t wrong. This isn’t the first time that we’ve had this conversation, which made it all the more mortifying. However, this is the first time that he’s given me a deadline. I have until the end of the year to show that I am fully committed to writing or I have to go out and get a full-time job.
So here I am, aiming to get focused for what feels like the millionth time. This time though, I’m not doing it just for myself, I’m doing it for my ever patient husband who believes in me no matter what.
Here are my short and long-term goals;
- Find an editor to work with me on my novel (end of next week)
- Pitch my article idea to lifestyle websites (end of this week)
- Apply for at least 5 freelance writing jobs per week (ongoing)
- Pitch my idea for a series of articles to women’s’ lifestyle magazines (mid-August)
I’ve been looking for online motivation and found a couple of Facebook groups I hope will inspire me and give me the kick I need.